Fattening the Frog

Jessica’s secure fundraising site is accessible here.

While coming to terms with my diagnosis, I realized there are experiences, moments – even things – that I want for myself. And these are consistent, no matter if my timeline is to be measured in one year or ten.

I felt a lot of pressure to track these things via a “bucket list.” But my imagination kept teasing me with this very literal vision of a stainless steel bucket far too cold and anonymous to contain hopes, dreams, and otherwise fun things.

I needed something that was more… Jessica. It had to have an animal-association, be a bit humorous, and have a touch of whimsy amidst such a serious topic. And thus, The Frog List was born! It contains all of the things I want to do before I CROAK!

It was a soft launch: I simply added a page to my existing blog. But soon two very cool supporters assembled a fundraiser page which would draw attention to my list and the resources needed to make it come true.

The fundraising is managed and secured via YouCaring.com. It is a fee-free service which connects people like me and the folks who have the means to help, no matter how small or large the donation.

Knowing my needs and wanting to be as practical as possible, we took a guess at time and donation goals. I extend the time deadline from month-to-month, and I’m not quite halfway to my $10,000 goal. I feel it is a lofty, but not unobtainable goal, given the experiences of other YouCaring users in my situation.

Some donations are monetary. Others are donations of actual experiences or items on the list. Either way, it’s important to me that I keep the site updated so the generous donors (and potential ones too!) know exactly how The Frog List has made my life easier and more enjoyable.

To date, the following items and experiences have been donated: a special lightweight wheelchair, NASCAR race tickets (and Hot Passes), Cirque du Soleil tickets (and meet and greet), and George Strait concert tickets (in progress!).

I would like to give an idea of where the cash donations have been spent too. Some of the larger expenses have been: flights/hotel/car rental for the NASCAR race; gas for trips to see my mom in WV; and making sure everyone who wants money at least gets a minimum payment. My Rite Aid prescription bill alone rivals most car payments!

While visiting friends and family for Thanksgiving, a friend gave me some really good advice. “Don’t be shy to extend the date or the fundraising goal as things change.” Her youngest daughter was born with some huge medical hurdles, but luckily she’s a thriving happy little girl today. 

My friend’s words of wisdom revisit me often these days. We are nearing completion of the most critical item on my Frog List: Move my mom closer to me. We found the new farm, and the move is about two weeks away! We must sell the existing property ASAP, but having my mom close to me will outweigh the stress of an extra mortgage.

I’m so excited it’s finally happening. I have lived through two years and two months of bad news, treatments, and hospitalization with her too far away and me too unwell to make the frequent trips I once did.

Through all the planning, I just realized that I’m going to need different accommodations at the new farm than I have had in WV (the existing farm).

Most waking hours, in order to be physically comfortable, I need to lie down or at least recline. (In fact, I often measure how well I’m doing by how many hours I was able to spend out of bed on a given day.) At home, I have a daybed in my living room. I replaced my loveseat with it about six months after my original diagnosis.
Having a bed downstairs also allows me to avoid my arch enemy, stairs, on most occasions.

At the farm in WV, I have been spending more and more of each visit isolated in the guest bedroom because there is no place for me to lie/recline comfortably in the living room.

Therefore, I want to buy a sectional sofa (maybe with a recliner) for the new farm. I want to have a place I can be comfortable and interact with everyone during waking hours. 

I definitely think this warrants an addition to the Frog List. I wouldn’t spend money on anything fancy; it seems that a basic sectional starts around $1000. (It just has to be very comfy!)

This started me thinking: How do I decide what I should add to the Frog List? I came up with two criterion: 1) Will it make my daily life easier or more comfortable? 2) Am I the primary benefactor? I am happiest when the ones I love are, too; but when asking for such generosity it’s important I remain focused on the goal at hand. (By the way, asking for help is very hard.)

Right now that’s the only ad hoc (and somewhat immediate) item I want to add. Yes, I can use all the help I can get with mountains of medical and living expenses; and I’ll be reaching out to a few key folks when it’s time to say “I do.”

But I hope to order my “comfy place” before the end of February. Thank you for everything you’ve done to date, and in the future, to help me fatten the frog!

Jessica’s secure fundraising site is accessible here: http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/jessica-s-frog-list/84760

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3 responses to “Fattening the Frog

  • Sjoukje

    Hi Jessica! What a wonderful way to raise funds! And I love the name: Frog List!! I had a look at your list and I hope you get to do all that is on there!!! When you get to Europe and maybe visit my country, let me know okay?
    Sending much love from The Netherlands
    xxx

  • Kayla

    Hi Jessica!

    I recently purchased a three piece sectional couch and I LOVE it.

    http://www.elpasohouseholdfurniture.com/Item.aspx?ItemID=1188335248&ItemNum=6840466%2B34%2B17

    This is the one I purchased, the Ashley Vista Three Piece Sectional.
    Most nights, I won’t go upstairs by choice because this is so comfortable. It has a chaise lounge too!

    Hugs!!
    🙂

  • Sabina

    Hi Jessica,

    So they now call them “sectional” sofas do they. During the 1970s/80s, they called them “modular” lounge suites in my part of the world. I’m still living with ours which is covered in chocolate brown velour (a cheap version of velvet). My rabbit adores it and has chewed many small holes in the fabric and delights in running up and down the three sections that make up the sofa part. Since I have had decades of experience of living with a sectional – let me give you some advice. I would NEVER buy a sectional again. The individual pieces have a nasty habit of drifting apart usually just when you are about to nod off for a nice nap and you have to wriggle and pull the seat and footrest sections back together again or have your butt sink into the ever widening gap – an experience that is very uncomfortable. Even if you get a model where the pieces can be locked together, because sectional sofas are often lower to the ground than a normal armchair, many people find them very difficult to get up from – particularly those with any kind of physical weakness or challenge. I was constantly having to pull my mother into a standing position.

    My advice to you is this. Get yourself a lavishly upholstered recliner armchair with built-in footrest, with motorized full recline ***AND*** lift actions to help you get up if you are feeling weak/unwell. Some of these look incredibly comfy and you will have no issues with sections coming apart. I am planning on buying myself such a recliner when I collect my retirement money so I can enjoy a nap uninterrupted by drifing furniture sections.

    Wishing you success in getting exactly what you need.

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