One Day in June

I drafted this post just two weeks after my diagnosis with brain tumors. Although it’s old news, the feelings of that day – relief and exultation – are still quite palpable.

I’m not sure anyone needed a wake-up call less than I did. I’ve always been quite grounded in reality, and my diagnosis of stage IV lung cancer at age 30 cemented that.

Unfortunately I now look back at how much “simpler” life seemed when I ONLY had primary lung cancer to manage.

I assume there is a possibility, with most varieties of cancer, that a piece can break off, travel through the bloodstream, and deposit on the fertile bank of a new organ. And when you simplify it as such, I’m surprised I wasn’t sitting around waiting for this development.

But yesterday (June 28), I was able to press pause on twelve very active days of dying.

My primary oncologist called and left a voice message while I was getting zapped by the CyberKnife. Seth and I parked at a nearby restaurant, and I synced my phone with the truck’s hands-free system. “Hey, it’s Doctor Roush. It’s Friday at 12:30. Give me a call when you get the message. Thanks, bye bye.”

I knew he had my PET scan results. The blood drained from my face at an alarming rate. I looked at Seth and said, “This isn’t good.”

Quite frankly, I wasn’t expecting to hear from him until our 8am meeting on Monday. No news would be good news, right?

We stayed connected via Bluetooth and returned his call. Fortunately he was available, and the receptionist put us through immediately.

“The PET scan looks good,” he said.

“What? Really?” I exhaled.

He confirmed. There were no signs of metastasis to any other organs or bones. The spot on my spine was stable, too.

In that moment I found the strength to keep pushing forward.

Seth and I quietly celebrated the rest of that Friday. I had a little ice cream after lunch and dinner. I knew the joy was misplaced: the blow had been dealt, and I had quite a mess on my hands. But to take a few hours and revel in the silliest “no new cancer today!” cheer was exactly what I needed. 😊

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6 responses to “One Day in June

  • Sharon Wierwille

    Glad for the good news. Any good news is reason to celebrate!

  • Sung

    awesome, jess! 🙂

  • Nikki

    Jessica, amazing blog :-). You are one tough cookie, and an inspiration to me.

    “What, Really”…my favorite line. Because it shows someone who in the face of such incredible adversity, is taking life a step at a life — and appreciating things that others take for granted. And — staying positive as you should and still smiling!

    You are, quite simply, amazing xo

    • Jessica

      Nikki, I don’t deserve your sweet words. I figure I’m just doing what anyone else would do in my situation. Thanks, as always, for reading. xo

    • Lady Justice

      Jessica, I myst disagree (politely) :-). Many people would have given up.

      Not only are you a fighter, you are so positive! You have really inspired me. I love reading your posts xo

  • Sue

    Jessica, I think might have lung cancer and I’d like to be part of the young group you indicated that suffer from this cancer. How can I go about that? I’m in my early 30s and scared. I have all the symptoms i keep reading about but I dont know what to do. I’ve expressed concern to two of my doctors but they don’t take the care to look further… Hope to hear back from you. Thanks and hope you are well! Your blog is very welcoming!

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