Pity Party

You are cordially invited to my pity party!

Who: me, myself, and I.

When: the wee hours of Wednesday morning -until- I fall asleep.

Where: in bed and blog.

Despite a weekend break, LDK378 continues to kick my ass. The daytime on Tuesday was better than Monday. But I awoke from an afternoon nap feeling poor.

Most evenings I try to wait until 9pm or so before I take something with THC. Saturday was an exception; I had an afternoon onset so severe that I thought something burst!

It was weird feeling so intoxicated during the day. I’m sure, like anything else, you grow accustom to the feeling. But I really don’t want to. Being high just isn’t “my thing.” It’s okay. But given a choice, I would prefer to be sober and pain-free!

One reason this stint is notably crappy is that the abdominal pain comes and goes frequently throughout the day. But my want to not feel drugged out all day must be greater than my need for pain relief. Most days, that is. Saturday was clearly the exception.

My preliminary hypothesis is as follows. I think that I have been tricking my body by raising and lowering the amount of LDK in my system from day to day. I have done this by taking a 2-5 day break from the drug when I feel toxicity intensifying.

But what if my body got ‘angry’ because I was sending it on this LDK roller coaster? And what if, in response, it decided to keep more LDK in the bloodstream than it normally would, preparing for the imminent drop? That would mean my LDK level would remain elevated, even several days after discontinuing treatment.

Again, it’s a preliminary theory with no medical basis and lots of holes. But it would explain why my last few days have been crummy.

I return to Fox Chase this Thursday for the beginning of Cycle 10. (I’ve been on this drug for 27 weeks!) My plan is to complete that in order to have a meaningful CT image on June 24. Then we’ll weigh side effects vs. scan results and see if there will be a Cycle 11.

Thank you for dropping in on my pity party. I’ll only be here until I fall asleep. I’m planning for a better tomorrow.

4 responses to “Pity Party

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