Thinking Green

I tried pot during my second semester of college.  I enjoyed the social aspect, but the drug really wasn’t my cup of tea.  First, I always felt dumber the next day.  Second, I suppose I’ve always been a person that wants to fix my problems, and pot certainly doesn’t help you solve much.

But after spending the past four days in bed, I’m ready to try it again.

I don’t mean in bed, asleep.  I mean, lying in bed, too miserable to watch TV, text message friends, browse the Internet, or do anything else but realize how miserable I am.  Yeah, Gemzar really stuck it to me this week.

Unfortunately, medical marijuana is not legal in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.  I’ve disagreed with that position for a very long time, although I never expected to be a person who could benefit from it.

When I started chemotherapy in May, a few of my rather straight-edge friends started scheming as to where they could get pot if I needed some.  I chuckled and told them how much I appreciated their attempted conspiracy.  But my first cocktail (Alimta/Carboplatin/Avastin) was relatively kind.  I was worn down the week after chemo, but there was never more than half a day I would tell you I was “miserable.”  I also wasn’t nauseous beyond what regular medication could handle, and I always assumed cancer patients smoked pot to relieve nausea or assist with appetite.

Then on Tuesday night, I caught a few minutes of a CNBC special on medical marijuana.  One patient’s words resonated with me: “It doesn’t relieve the pain. It just makes you care less about it.”

‘That’s what I need!’ I thought.  And the brainstorming began.

I don’t like the idea of breaking the law, even if it is one with which I disagree.  But after what I experienced this week, I might have to give it a go.

I would need to ingest it; I certainly couldn’t smoke or “vape” it.  And who knows, it might not make me any less miserable.  But I was really desperate this week and would have tried anything.

The good news is that I’m finally out of bed, showered, and even thinking about leaving the house.  I’m scheduled to get another treatment of Gemzar on Monday, but I’m not going to dwell on that right now.  I have a weekend to live!

4 responses to “Thinking Green

  • Ang

    Enjoy your weekend Jess. Then have some brownies!

  • kimmywink

    I’m in Portland, Oregon where medical mary-jane is A-OK! I’ve not tried it (since the Big C either) but many people I know do use it. From what I’ve heard it is similar to finding the right pain pill to use. If one particular kind of pot does not help, try another. The lung cancer users usually opt for cookies. Going the cookie route I don’t think you have as much control over the strain/kind of pot you get. If it will help go for it!

    Have a great weekend!

  • vince

    With all you’ve been through you do what you want. Soon I will have a gift for you. I’m working on a beer recipe.

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