The Darkest Hours

Sleep eludes me tonight, as it does many.

I’ve long had a tendency to be quasi-nocturnal.  That is, once daybreak hits, and the birds chirp, I can finally sleep.

As a child, I had this sort of pattern.  I would be up all night reading, fall asleep between 6 and 7am, and awake for lunchtime.  Go to bed at a traditional time, say 11pm, and I would still sleep until noon if allowed.

It seems that when my body is left to its own devices, I require less drool-time.

And in my new world, sleep is more precious than ever.  Some days, when it comes easily, I long to bottle it and save it for moments like tonight.

My chief complaint – and something I Tweet often – is that I feel like I’m trying to breathe underwater.  This means that I can feel fluid/phlegm gurgling in my airways, and the more I recline the more I cough.  It is different from post nasal drip in that it comes from a place below my voice box and sometimes further down in my chest.  The fix is to sit up completely or prop myself up in the corner of the sofa and wait to pass out.

My secondary complaint is anxiety and restlessness caused by shallow breathing or general breathlessness.  I have medication to curb this, although I know if I take it too late I won’t be able to function properly in the morning or whenever I ‘come to.’  I’m also not a fan of just knocking myself out like that, but when I’m desperate, I do – as prescribed of course.

And all of this is why, when asked about my sleep schedule, I answer “whenever and as often as possible!”  Seth may tease me about a 4 hour midday “nap,” but he also knows that might be the best sleep I’ve had in the past (or the next) 24 hours.

Ah, sleep… I know you are within me, if only I could figure out the magic spell to activate you.  I guess I’ll try counting sheep, er, bunnies…

Sweet dreams!

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